99 Problems

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Dead This character is dead. Any further communication should be with the VST.

This character has passed away.

99 problems.JPG

Apocalypse PC

Player: Bill M
Character: 99 Problems
Auspice: Ragabash
Tribe: Glasswalkers
Position: Eldest Ragabash
Rank: Adren
Domain: MA-003-D
VST: Laura D

Character Information

Name: 99 Problems

Auspice: Ragabash

Tribe: Glasswalker

Position: Eldest Ragabash

Renown: 2 Glory, 7 Honor, 6 Wisdom

Domain: Sept of the Eagle's Talons

Title or Positon: Eldest Ragabash

Notable Traits


Homid: He is very nondescript in looks, average height, average build, brown hair, brown eyes. It stops being average as soon as he opens his mouth and takes off his shirt. When he is not wearing a long sleeve shirt he has various tattoos completely covering his arms and if shirtless his entire upper body from his throat down (no one has seen him without his pants off except in Hispo/Lupus form). The tattoos on his throat have claw marks across them that are not tattoos. He wears High Top Sneakers. His Galabro Form is a larger version of his normal self (Fair Galabro).

Wolf/Hispo: He looks between a cross between a Rottweiler and a wolf with splotchy brown and black fur. He does not wear pants in this form.

Crinos: He has been caught jokingly calling his Crinos Form "Fury in Cargo Pants." as he still wears pants in Crinos (though a tail pokes out the end). He grows up to 7'8 and is the cross between his homid and wolf forms.


He was an obnoxious prat until he was halfway through his time as a fostern. He still curses a lot. The leadership he has been given as an Adren seems to have tempered and matured the Glasswalker. He still tries to be a distraction to the enemy in combat, but has no issue trying to tear out someone's throat if he has too.

Known History

99 Problems was a late bloomer in regards to the Garou Nation. He changed at the beginning of the Ratkin War after Graduating MIT. He was brought to the urban Caern in Boston and underwent his Rite of Passage as he didn't want to sit on his hands. He wanted to do something. Using his own contacts and resources he was able to do much of the coordination and putting out various fires that needed to get done as his Rite of Passage in 2003. This gave him the deed name 99 Problems. It was originally going to be Handles 99 Problems but the Galliard cut it short because it sounded more ragabashy. To this day no one knows if the Galliard had listened to Jay-Z's "The Black Album" before giving him that name, as the rap came out later that year.

99 Problems is a member of The Random Interrupts.

The Bastad Children of Southie

Pack Totem: City Father


99 Problems is looking for Pack Members that has a similar goal to his, which is to re-acquire one of the urban caerns that were lost during the Ratkin wars.

Pack Members

  • Walks-Under-Turnstiles - Galliard Cliath Homid Bone Gnawer
  • Alder - Theurge Cliath Metis Child of Gaia
  • Walks-Through-Walls - Ahroun Cliath Homid Get of Fenris


feel free to post your own rumors

  • The real reason that 99 Problems had his first change was due to the cancellation of Firefly. Didn't that cause every Glasswalker's first change?
  • He was the inspiration behind the song "On The Ground."


From him

  • "Cliaths should not challenge Athros for anything, even if it is the last slice of pizza, mmmkay?" - When he was told by a cliath he challenged an Athro Get.
  • "I just want to give you a word of advice. Whatever you compose, sit on it for a day. Re-read it the next day and think "if I was a higher ranked Anything that read that, would I want to scandal it/throat it?"
  • "I remember that time when I was a Cub/Cliath. People HATED me, then again, I was a complete and utter brat shouting I'M AN ADULT even though I was a child in the eyes of the nation."
  • "Tensions are high with all of the hormones flying around. It would turn into an orgy if it wasn't against the litany."
  • "Would you want to be a spirit known for accepting Bukkake? That's basically what you are asking the spirit to do."
  • Let me start so I don't fall for anyone's blandishments. If I have a pole stuck so far up my ass that I can't see the viewpoint of another and respectfully disagree, I promise to pull it out right away so it doesn't sit there and splinter, because this is the worst case of splinters up the chocolate starfish I've ever seen.
  • In the Warren Woods the Garou are can be victimized by spirits in two separate, yet equally important groups. The the ones with a stick up their ass, and the ones that don't have a stick up their ass. These are there stories...DUNT DUNT
  • It's a Blackberry, of course it's of the wyrm."

Words from Allies, Enemies, and Others

Feel free to post your own quotes

  • "I don't know him nearly as well as I'd like, because he seems like a bright Ragabash on my side, which you can never have too many of really. In the current leadership of our Tribe, he's a good guy to have up there." - Michael "Wars-on-all-Fronts" Anders

From Tales Sung and Spoken

  • Excerpt from The fault of Pride - A Cautionary Tale, by Misery's Fury

Challenge was issued and Challenge was answered. Victor DawnCrown, Ahroun of the Silver Fangs and Fostern, stood with blade and board, Nantan Shadow Seeker, Fostern Judge of the Uktena made ready with tooth and claw, while 99 Problems, Adren New Moon of the Warders of Man worked the magics of distraction to aide them. Eric Williamson, last of his name, was strong in the ways of the Warrior. It was good that three of our own came to do battle, for in the exchange, Nantan Shadow Seeker felt the bite of Eric’s tarnished weapon bury itself deep into his chest. Had there only been one warrior of Gaia present, surely this song would not have been sung. Rallied by the blood of the wounded, Victor DawnCrown brought the might of the lineage of the First Tribe to bear upon the enemy and forced him to yield, that information could be extracted from him and his proper punishment imposed.

For the dead cannot confess their crimes or tell us why.

Aldar, Cliath Theurge of the Children of Gaia sensed that the battle was far from over. He knelt in supplication to Gaia, and called upon Her blessings to cleanse the area as best as he could. Nantan’s wounds were tended to, and 99 Problems sought out Whispering Wind.

The Wyrm’s corruption was complete. Our gentle Whispering Wind, healer, mentor and guide, was found to be married to a spirit of uncompromising evil. The cleansing magics of Aldar’s rituals bound the spirits, removing access to the army that Whispering Wind was attempting to amass, as 99 Problems brought to bear the skills inherent to his Tribe and his Auspice. Her spiritual energies lessened, she was brought low by the blade of 99 Problems. She left her mark upon his throat in payment.

Last Will and Testament of 99 Problems

If you are receiving this, I am dead.

If I died while trying to reclaim the city caern in Boston, and you are all victorious, thank you for helping me achieve my goal even though I wasn't there to see it.

If I died any other way, It was probably all the Sept Alpha's fault. Unless of course I was the Sept Alpha of the City Sept, then I probably died pretty spectacularly in defense of the Sept. However if I died dishonorably no one gets what is in this will and it should all be liquidated and go to The One Fund.

My personal resources, stocks, bonds, bank accounts, other real estate that isn't listed in the rest of the will, shall be liquidated. 75% of it will be passed out to everyone here. 15% of it will be held in Trust to Esther for Esther Jr's college fund. 10% will go to The One Fund

To Sarah Wells, sorry I didn't have a chance to bone you. We would have probably made cute babies, well, probably not, they would have had my genes too. If I did bone you and we have babies don't tell them that their father said they are ugly. Unless you want to take over as the head of Harbor Security, you are to liquidate my business except for the building I recently bought on (Blah and Blah) in the Financial District. You will find the documentation enclosed to either take over the business or liquidate. Take 51% of the amount of the liquidation if you choose to liquidate and whatever computer equipment you want. You choose to keep the security firm running, consider yourself the head of the firm with the ownership of 51% of the company. Also in it is my passwords to access my systems, so you can use my hacker alias to control the hackers that were under my command. Give the documentation to my laywers and they will continue making sure that everything has a smooth transaction.

To Esther - You will have 25% of whatever is liquidated or 25% of the company. If Victor doesn't like this kick him in the balls until he does like it. You also get my computer that is in my office (but not the Roachcave). Well you can have it after it is clear of any possible porn or hentai (Sarah the directory listing and password is in the documentation I left you. Please delete it). If Victor doesn't like this kick him in the balls repeatedly.

To Alder - You have the building on (Blah and Blah). I didn't get to do anything with it at the time of this writing so there is no security measures in place or whatnot. Use it for a pack base. If the pack disbands you can sell it off and keep the profits. You have 12% stake in either the liquidation or ownership of Harbor Security. You will be receiving a separate list of contacts of mine in Health and Human Services in case you want to oureach them (ooc; Bureaucracy). Also I have some contacts at Bunker Hill if you are looking to continue your education. I know you don't like hearing me call my own hideout the Roach Cave.... but in my honor please leave out awakened sugar packets in the building for the roaches. There isn't ban or anything, it is something that I do out of respect to cockroach.

To Walks Through Walls - I give you my apartment in Quincy in the (blah blah) building. It's a good building. Good security measures. You and your kin can live there. Have plenty of babies. I want to also have you consider, if Sarah does not liquidate, that you learn to bust through technical walls too. Ask Sarah if she can teach you how to break computer security. I also give you my mundane security equipment and 12% stake in Harbor Security. You will also be receiving a list of people that I have had dealings with that you have had similar dealings with.

Last Call - If Esther refuses to kick Victor in the balls if he doesn't let her have what is in the will, and her, not him as alpha, kick him in the balls. You can do that while wearing my Air Hi Tops. They will help with your climbing and you won't get hurt falling. It also makes the climbs up to eagle alot easier. You're not a part of the Pack so it won't hurt the Pack if you kick him in the balls.

To Walks Under Turnstiles - I do not mean to insult you by not giving you a share of the company. I don't think that Rat would like that. I give you my Hardware Virus. You will receive a list of people that might make things on the streets easier. You also can get the 1970's oldmobile that I let you borrow so you have car. I also know some people that you might want to outreach to that might help your kinfolk get around easier.

There are also listed envelopes of contacts within of political and law enforcement to be used at the Packs disposal.

I hope I saw my goal come to light. I hope I had many ugly baby's with Sarah. I hope I got to witness Victor get kicked in the balls. I hope I got to kick Victor in the balls. However if I did not get to see these things, I hope that I leave the people that mattered cared for.

James Moreau

I got 99 Problems but my life ain't one

OOC Information

One artist's rendition of 99 Problems


  • Ripley from National Treasure
  • Alfred "Hudson Hawk" Hawkins
  • Mr. Fox from Batman
  • CM Punk
  • Joker from the Mass Effect Series
  • Claudia Donovan from Warehouse 13
  • Randy the Ghoul
  • On the Ground SNL Digital Short
  • The comedy Breaking In...if it wasn't a comedy.


  • Invincible by Machine Gun Kelly
  • Flesh Into Gear by CKY

Player Information

Please see User:Bill_M._US2002021749 for more details.